Although men have a long history of dating younger women, it used to be much more uncommon for the roles to be reversed.
Whether women were brainwashed by a sexist society’s opinions or just had yet to open their eyes to the benefits of dating younger men, it took some time for the older woman/younger man dating style to go mainstream.
When more and more women did decide to look for dates in the younger age brackets, the results were not disappointing. In fact, a 2008 study in The Psychology of Women Quarterly revealed that the relationships that had the highest levels of satisfaction and commitment were those where the woman was older than the man.
Why Older Women Are Dating Younger Guys
Why would an older woman want to date a younger man? If you are asking this question, we are here to assure you that there are plenty of reasons. By sharing some of the big ones, we can give you an idea of how to maintain that interest.
Pure physical attraction
Youth has its superficial advantages, undeniably. Sexy attributes like smooth skin, thick hair and a fit body will grab the attention of any woman, but an older woman will appreciate them more because she sees them less, plain and simple.
Some older men take care of themselves and still look good but some do not. It’s a fact of life. A woman who has never dated a younger man before may find herself a bit in awe of his face and body.
Younger women take youthful good looks for granted and won’t be as impressed because it’s so common in their circles. They’re often actually more attracted to older characteristics.
But the older woman will appreciate the way a younger man looks. Even if her older companions have been attractive, it’s not in the same way.
Different is exciting. Silver foxes are beautiful creatures, but when a woman has been surrounded by them, there is a special thrill to be found in exploring the rest of the animal kingdom.
It’s not just the looks that are different. The energy level of a man getting up there in years often varies greatly from that of his younger counterparts.
A woman in her 30s or 40s has likely dated not only men her own age but older–sometimes much older–as well. She may be very familiar with scenarios that include enjoying a glass of wine with her gin-and-tonic-sipping date in a nice restaurant, long sit-down dinners with her man’s friends who are 10-20 years older than she is, and many nights staying in, watching movies that have to be turned off early because her boyfriend is too tired to finish.
This is more evident when you see the top places older women seeking younger men have been meeting. Most of the most common meeting places are high energy and exciting.
There’s nothing wrong with any of the aforementioned and in fact, they can make for quite lovely evenings. But too much of that pace of life gets monotonous and boring and can make a woman start to feel old herself.
Being with a younger man is fun and exciting, in part because he has vitality that an older woman has not experienced in some time. He’ll be more likely to stay up later, be interested in activities that require actual exertion, and have an openness to trying new things.
Given the points we’ve already covered, you don’t have to get overly scientific with dating to know that one of the things women love most about dating younger men is the amazing sex that often comes with it.
A younger man has the sex drive, energy, and stamina that can satisfy an older woman in ways that she maybe hasn’t experienced for years. Being passionately ravished by a virile lover is the stuff fantasies are made of, and a younger man is able to deliver to the fullest.
Depending on the man and the woman, there may be a small or huge disparity in the variety of past sexual experience. There are advantages to be gleaned from both scenarios.
There is no denying that sexual culture has become more and more prevalent with the advent of the internet, social media and sexting. Men these days are likely to be exposed to much more much sooner than in the past, resulting in sexual advancement beyond their years. So while an older woman is likely to be more sexually experienced, that is not always the case.
A woman who has stayed on the conservative or even moderate end of the sexual spectrum could even be less sexually versed than a man who is younger. Sometimes they will match up pretty closely in terms of experience. If the man is confident enough to take charge but will also let the woman do so when she wants to, the possibilities are endless.
Of course, oftentimes, the older woman will be more experienced than a younger man, and whether by a narrow or wide margin, this can provide all sorts of excitement as well. It’s quite the turn-on when a woman is able to use what she knows and maybe even teach a younger guy a few things. The results are mutually fulfilling.
Room to grow
An older man is often very set in his ways. He has beliefs, habits, routines, and traits that have become deeply embedded in his personality and lifestyle throughout an extended period of time.
A woman is often confined by two choices with such a man: she either accepts his ways or she moves on.
The woman who moves on to a younger man will be pleasantly surprised by a willingness to be flexible. It’s not a matter of changing a man into a completely different person; that would be unhealthy in so many obvious ways. However, a man who cares about a woman’s needs and wants and is willing to make compromises and adjustments accordingly is much appreciated.
A woman may want to make decisions at times and may want the man to take the lead at other times. Understanding when she changes her mind, being okay with going off schedule at times, and being willing to do things she enjoys–even if they aren’t at the top of your list–are quite welcome and refreshing gestures in the world of an older woman.
Disappointment in older men
It is not uncommon for a woman to have a moment of awakening when she realizes that many of the characteristics she was hoping to avoid by not dating younger men are showing up in men her age and older . . . much older.
She then realizes that age does not necessarily equate maturity or stability. The fact of the matter is, there are men in their twenties and thirties who have it more together than many men in their forties and fifties.
When a woman has put up with all of the drawbacks of dating an older man without any of the benefits she assumed would be present, she is apt to revisit the idea of dating younger and wish she had done it sooner. Once they learn how easy it can be to meet (there are even entire dating sites dedicated to helping older women and younger men connect) it becomes a no-brainer.
Even when a younger man doesn’t have it all together, logic dictates that if the emotional maturity and financial stability levels between two men are similar, but one is young, hot, fit, and kind, and the other is worn-down, burnt-out, balding, and grouchy, there really is no reason to choose the latter.
A woman who has dated men her age and older has likely felt the burden of excess baggage that may have included ex-wives, children, baby mamas, financial stress due to alimony, child support, and failed business ventures or unwise investments, bitterness, trust issues, mid-life crises, medical conditions, career pressures, and overwhelming responsibilities.
When a woman has the opportunity to be with a man who has very few or none of these, a huge weight has been lifted from the dating experience, and it is suddenly light and fun and all about enjoyment and good times. She gets to laugh and be happy and free and have someone focused on her. She no longer has to deal with problems that aren’t hers.
She can feel acknowledged, valued and prioritized because a younger man will not have all of these other factors in his life that could keep her from feeling that way.
According to a 2015 study by EliteSingles, men between the ages of 20 and 29 prefer older women.
When women feel like they are the preference, and not the second, third, or last choice, they feel honored, appreciated, and sexy as hell. Knowing that you are the object of someone’s desire and the manifestation of their fantasy can create more heat than a fireplace.
The problem with older men is they often face insecurities about aging and therefore pursue younger women who make them feel like they aren’t. These men often don’t give the time of day to women who are their age or slightly younger, so it’s been awhile since many of these women have felt like they are the most desired females in the room.
When these women meet younger men who are actually more attracted to them than they are to women their own age, they feel beautiful, sought-after, adored, and extremely turned on. The desire toward them will fuel a passion within them, and what happens after that can be magical.
The advantages of dating younger men have revealed themselves to many women who are out there doing it now, and as the smiles continue to show up on their faces, we expect the word to get around fast.